Beauty…

I recently found out that Margaret Wolfe Hungerford first used the phrase, ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ in 1878. This phrase clearly states that ‘beauty’ is purely subjective to the beholder. Fine. But I am still waiting for the famous phrase to say beauty is in the eye of the holder.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing I love more than if I can get my eyeliner on perfectly. I feel a tiny pinch of accomplishment when that happens, as we all do. But a friend of mine had a disastrous experience with a somewhat local ‘resource’ who solely focussed on outer beauty and did not care too much about creating experiences beyond that. While this ‘resource’ is still working, I question whether or not if much has changed in what is presented? Has this person grown to respect the inner as well as the outer?

I cannot say for sure.

But this herein is where the slippery slope lies: Do we start by teaching our young Indigenous women and men on how to put on make up, dress fancy and walk fancy at an early age? Do we entrench our Indigenous history, language, teachings, etc within them at a very early age? Or have we mastered the art of doing both simultaneously?

It’s very easy to get caught up in a contagious personality filled with fun and colour and feel good phrases, but is it healthy? Does it come with the depth that we need to make all of our learning experiences meaningful? Does it come with our traditional teachings and models of respect? I do know that the meaningful experiences stick and they are responsible for shaping who we are, wherever we are on our life journey, one experience at a time. But what happens when we don’t feel so pretty or handsome or hot anymore? What is left after we have exhausted our physical beauty? What is left of that ‘feel good’ time in our lives if no one bothered to say…if no one took the time to say… if no one saw the value in saying “beauty is in the eye of the holder and you are so loved and respected for who you are. Period.”

My hope is that times have changed. In the year 2020, we can say that we are not defined solely on our outer beauty, that we are not constantly put out there to expose our most vulnerable selves on the basis of having a pretty face, bone structure, our body, with absolutely nothing to back it up but catch phrases.

All I know is that it was a difficult time for my friend, during what was supposed to be a good, uplifting, positive experience, that ended up as an insecure nightmare. It’s 2020, we should not be subject to those experiences anymore.

But if anything I will say this: If you are a professional motivator, incorporate as much as you can that will feed our young people with pride, love and knowledge of who they are and where they come from. And please, please don’t sugar coat the bad, just find a stronger argument for the good.